2012年

Please submit a one page, single-spaced essay that explains why you have chosen Carnegie Mellon and your particular major(s), department(s) or program(s). This essay should include the reasons why you've chosen the major(s), any goals or relevant work plans and any other information you would like us to know. For freshmen applying to more than one college or program, please mention each college or program to which you are applying. Because our admission committees review applicants by college and program, your essay can impact our final decision. Candidates applying for early decision or transfer may apply to only one college and department.
翻译：请提交一份单面单倍行距的短文，解释你为何选择了卡内基梅隆大学及你意向中的专业，院系和项目（可多选）。这篇短文须包括你选择专业的依据，任何目标和相关的计划以及你希望我们了解的其他情况。如果新生申请超过一所学院或项目，请提及你所申请的每一个学院或项目。因为我们的录取委员会以学院和项目为单位来审核申请者，你的短文会影响我们的最终决定。ED或者转学的申请者只能申请一所学院或院系。
解析：AADPS分类I-c
字数限制：推荐500词

I knew Dr. Chuck even before I made up my mind to study abroad. Like hundreds of thousands of students in developing countries, I was able to learn about the technical heroes of our time through his Internet History, Technology, and Security on Coursera. I liked the way Charles Severance depicts the roots and trends of the Internet as well as its important role in people’s lives. Inspired by his passion and firsthand experiences, I began to teach myself HTML and JavaScript and later served as an intern at China Unicom. However, none of these would be possible without online education technologies and services. Thus I intend to dedicate myself to the innovation and expansion of this emerging sector so that one day children and adolescents around the world could easily benefit from the common knowledge repository of human beings.

Realizing that Carnegie Mellon is a pioneer of online education and its Open Learning Initiative now offers eighteen comprehensive courses to every Internet user, my interest was instantly piqued. After a little search, I realized that though I had not been completely sure about my major choice yet, your School of Computer Science might provide the very resources needed for my success. Your up-to-date program has both depth (e.g., functional programming as a mandatory requirement) and breadth (options to take humanities and arts electives), so I may take advantage of both technical and social methodologies to tackle new challenges in creating effective MOOCs. After receiving rigorous training in program design and computer architecture, I can broaden my horizons by involving in one of your influential education and outreach projects like Alice, Adventures in Computing, or even the OLI itself. All of these experiences will eventually empower me as a competent educational product manager at the age of information. Thus, I believe being admitted to Carnegie Mellon University will swiftly bring me closer to my goal.

留学文书译文（机翻）：

在我决定出国留学之前，我就认识查克博士了。像发展中国家的数十万学生一样，我能够通过他在Coursera上的互联网历史、技术和安全了解我们时代的技术英雄。我喜欢Charles Severance描述互联网的根源和趋势以及它在人们生活中的重要作用的方式。受到他的热情和亲身经历的启发，我开始自学HTML和JavaScript，后来在中国联通实习。然而，如果没有在线教育技术和服务，这些都是不可能的。因此，我打算致力于这一新兴领域的创新和扩展，以便有一天，世界各地的儿童和青少年能够轻松地从人类的共同知识库中受益。

意识到卡内基梅隆大学是在线教育的先驱，其开放式学习计划现在为每个互联网用户提供了18门综合课程，我的兴趣立刻被激发起来。经过一番探索，我意识到，虽然我还不能完全确定我的专业选择，但贵校的计算机科学学院可能会为我的成功提供所需的资源。您的最新课程既有深度（例如，功能性编程是一项强制性要求），也有广度（选修人文和艺术课程），因此我可以利用技术和社会方法来应对创建有效MOOC的新挑战。在接受了严格的程序设计和计算机体系结构培训后，我可以通过参与你们其中一个有影响力的教育和推广项目，比如Alice、Adventures in Computing，甚至是OLI本身，来拓宽我的视野。所有这些经验最终将使我在信息时代成为一名称职的教育产品经理。因此，我相信被卡内基梅隆大学录取将很快使我更接近我的目标。

标化条件：GPA 3.8 TOEFL 108 老SAT 2140

AADPS老师文书点评：Why文书的关键点是把自己的学术兴趣和学校的特色优势无缝结合起来。这篇留学文书使用网课作为统领全篇的线索，很好地实现了这个目的。

家长感言：孩子现在已经在谷歌工作五年多了。国内大家都比较迷信排名和名校，但作为亲身经历者，我觉得申到公认的名项目（而非密涅瓦之类包装出来的）才是中介水平的试金石，在这点上AADPS当之无愧。