埃默里大学录取主文选之五

回答Common主文第一题

战癌魔,注意pray点出宗教信仰加分

I never truly realized the gravity of cancer until I turned sixteen. It had been an abstract term that had been associated with me since I was four, when I was diagnosed with leukemia. Nine years later, I had survived and beaten it. But, I couldn’t take credit for that victory. It was a victory for my parents, who had never left my bedside or stopped praying for me. It was a victory for the doctors and nurses who had cared for me. But it truly wasn’t mine, even though I wanted to pretend it was, I hadn’t done more to fight cancer than simply exist, to be honest. And so, I never paid cancer much attention, even though everyone around me did.

先抑后扬的态度转变

As I grew up, cancer never was a topic of discussion in my household. Questions about my stints in hospitals were met with simple, evasive answers, and eventually, I forgot about the parts of my life spent in a hospital ward. The only lingering effects cancer seemed to have on me were biannual visits to the hospital to confirm my wellness. These visits appeared redundant, but they got me out of school for a day and as a result, no questions were posed. When my parents finally discussed the reason behind my trips to the hospital with me as I turned thirteen, I chose not to recognize the gravity of the situation. I didn’t want the burden of cancer to cast a shadow over the life I was content with.

My attitude regarding the matter changed when I picked up a paperback – Siddhartha Mukherjee’s The Emperor of All Maladies: A Biography Of Cancer. I was shocked at how cancer was considered a death sentence for patients only a short while back, and many forms were just as deadly today as they were decades ago. I thought about my “victory” against cancer and wondered how many battles had been lost to set up that single win.

Finishing the book drove me to pursue any opportunity I could to get involved with cancer research. I found a laboratory in my hometown, and set to work analyzing proliferation indices and immunostains. My work was just as exciting as I thought it would be, and the long summers in the lab passed by quickly before I could fully grasp the magnitude of what I was doing. That changed when I started volunteering in an oncology inpatient unit.

行动

Volunteering at the inpatient unit was completely different from my previous laboratory experience. There exists a hardened sense of reality in the ward that no amount of statistical analysis can reveal. I was able to relate to the patients and their struggles and understand that the deep cultural and societal ties of these patients couldn’t be captured through numbers. I learned that there were truly two aspects of what cancer was about: the medical as well as the human.

Growing up after my ordeals, I had always wondered why I was unlucky enough to suffer from cancer; not because they were painful, but because they brought me unnecessary concern and attention. Upon turning sixteen, entirely new dimensions of the disease were exposed to me, depicting families that struggle with disheartening relapses, and doctors who dedicate years of tireless research to help save lives. Cancer lost its abstract feeling and became more tangible for me. Volunteering experiences have taught me that battles with cancer aren’t easily won. But two summers of work at the Pediatric Cancer Laboratory have given me a different message: that these battles can be and will be won. I wasn’t able to contribute much to my original battle against cancer, but now, I look to play a bigger role in the battles of the future.

AADPS陈欣老师点评:传统上来说,留学文书所涉及的时间范畴应该是近三年,但是对于影响一生的大事件除外。这篇文书的写法确实让我开眼界了,虽然可能适用性不广,但两头占齐的思路确实值得我们学习。

招生官点评:我最喜欢的留学文书是在我阅读之后的几天(或几周)里还在脑海中留有印象,并给教会我关于某个主题的新信息或新观点。这篇文章就是一个很好的例子,它与我通常阅到的文书非常不同。这名学生战胜了癌魔(这是一个惊人的胜利!),但由于她当时还很小,她并不觉得她能够真正成为这个故事的主人公。 随着这名学生逐渐长大并明白这场战斗的意义,她希望了解更多有关癌症的信息,并开始回报受其影响的其他病友。对于如此沉重的话题,这是一种独特、成熟的处理方法。

重要通知

本文由AADPS编译自https://blog.emoryadmission.com/2018/08/strong-personal-statements-part-5/,原始发布地址是https://aadps.net/2019/14444.html

因屡次出现我们学员家长将盗用我方的推文发到我们自己的服务群里,严重影响了AADPS的正常经营秩序。AADPS决定禁止对我们专业资讯的一切形式转载或再利用(包括但不限于同行或留学生家长在任何媒体平台的公众号、资讯号、私人号中非法利用我方内容)。一经发现,我方将可能采用一切合法手段维权,不再另行通知,创业不易,望谅解。

发布者

陈 欣

陈 欣

AADPS创始人

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