埃默里大学录取主文选之一

回答Common主文第七题

图书馆印象,环境描写,以finality这一概念为主线

Nothing has fascinated me more than the concept of libraries. They provide the illusion of finality, a lovely feeling when you’re writing a research paper worth half of your class grade. I walked down the narrow hallway, surrounded by stacks of old anthologies and monographs, boots clacking loudly in the small room. The aroma of old paper spilled in from nonexistent vents, overwhelming but strangely comforting. I let my own mind wander as I pulled books from shelves; quiet noise echoing as the hardcovers fell open. I was alone, but I could feel the authors’ voices surrounding me, feeling their desperation in the search for knowledge, just like me. The interesting aspect of libraries is that we all, in a sense, have our own inside us. We collect memories, and we use them to build the future. What if we saw memory as final? Would we ever push towards the future, then? Does our concept of knowledge have to be continuous?

忆童年,著名的开尔文勋爵与爱因斯坦的公案,发展finality,人类存在的意义

We are all defined by knowledge. The first time I went to the Adler Planetarium as a kid in Chicago, I knew the vastness of our universe would drive me to spend my life searching for answers. The fickle part of knowledge, though, is that we can never truly define its end. Lord Kelvin famously declared that all of physics had been discovered merely years before Einstein’s work in relativity. If we learn anything from Kelvin, it’s that knowledge is never simply a point on a plane. Rather, it’s the limit of infinity, something beautifully undefined. We search and search forever, but this is, in itself, a noble pursuit. The very satisfaction in knowledge is its inability to truly quantified; as we push towards the boundless future, we find joy in human existence.

解谜书与我,继续论证知识与存在(其实是笛卡尔的我思故我在,没有明写)

The amazing part of knowledge is its infinitesimal beauty. Personally, I find knowledge in my old cryptography book. It was an impulse buy, but it ended up showing me that problem solving is always incremental, not definitive. There’s nothing like cracking open a cypher that was previously thought too difficult; nothing like watching all the figures fall into place from one right move, a calculated shot in the dark. Knowledge is our foundation for existence – how could we survive without a sense of awareness, of clarity, in a world so large and incomprehensible? Knowledge is fluid, malleable; knowledge is awareness. We learn and grow, we gain knowledge. We explore the region, the continent, the world, the universe – with knowledge, we build our identity. Knowledge builds our existence.

存在主义,finality过渡到curiosity的高潮

I believe that life is beautiful. For a self-proclaimed existentialist, the irony is certainly not lost on me. Even so, to deny the wonder in the unrestricted wild of the mountains, the deafeningly silent museum exhibits, or the hidden library bookshelves would be simply absurd. So, what defines life? When you walk down empty hallways and feel vastly alone, when you grasp onto your seat as the airplane takes off, feeling out of breath and control, when you hear a song that feels made for your ears – the rush of adrenaline that binds us all – this is existence. What defines existence? The journey that characterizes human life; whether you find meaning in the soul or in the sky, it’s the search that defines us. It’s knowledge. I want to redefine how we conceptualize knowledge. So often we try to reduce error like a repeated experimental trial. We work towards the noble goal of finality, but we tie our own hands. We spend our lives finding meaning in existence, but cut ourselves short by losing the connection to knowledge that makes us so fundamentally human. The beauty in knowledge is the introspective nature of our own existence. Just like my journey through the library hallway, we learn that finality doesn’t make a great research paper – the spirit and drive of inquisition does.

AADPS陈欣老师点评:一般而言,我不推荐中国申请者写以议论为主的文书,尤其是作为Common主文,但凡事均有例外。如果你在国际课程体系、夏校或者自身兴趣探索的过程中对哲学有一定的了解,能发挥到这篇文书这种地步毫无疑问是能给你的申请增光添彩的。

有两点需要大家注意。一个是文书作者的哲学功底很充沛,但是并没有掉书袋——用名人名字或者名言来装点门面。这种厚积而薄发是非常讨喜的。二个是虽然这本质上是一篇议论文,但是作者仍然使用大块的篇幅整合进了个人生活的种种细节。这样文书会更个性化,在显得真诚的同时也能给招生官留下深刻印象。

招生官点评:诚实的讲,面对约三万名申请者,很难为你的文书找到一个独一无二的主题。因此,努力找到自己的声音并聚焦于此或许是一个更可行的思路。采用自拟题目并非是一个常见的选择,但这篇文书通过富有表现力的语言以及有意思的用词而脱颖而出。这位申请者看上去没有花太多心思去找“正确”的文书主题,也没有用文书的形式再将课外活动复述罗列一遍。事实上,文书作者没有直接告诉读者任何事情,而是在字里行间展示给他们看。

作者少年老成,展现出了真正的求知欲、好奇的天性以及希望通过各种形式追寻知识的强烈愿望。

当我们在审阅申请时,很大一部分工作是在想象中将申请者置于我们校园中,考察他们将如何为一个思想家、学生和学者的社区作出贡献。你不难假定文书的作者会徜徉在埃默里图书馆的书海中,并与教授和同学深入互动,在求知的道路上渐行渐远。

重要通知

本文由AADPS编译自https://blog.emoryadmission.com/2018/08/strong-personal-statements-part-1/,原始发布地址是https://aadps.net/2019/14434.html

因屡次出现我们学员家长将盗用我方的推文发到我们自己的服务群里,严重影响了AADPS的正常经营秩序。AADPS决定禁止对我们专业资讯的一切形式转载或再利用(包括但不限于同行或留学生家长在任何媒体平台的公众号、资讯号、私人号中非法利用我方内容)。一经发现,我方将可能采用一切合法手段维权,恕不另行通知,创业不易,望谅解。

发布者

陈 欣

陈 欣

AADPS创始人