陈欣老师美本留学文书选(CommonApp主文二):书山有路、母亲伴我走一程

今天发一篇对我自己有特殊意义的留学文书。不但是因为孩子靠着它斩获了西北大学和从威尔斯利到曼荷莲的一众文理学院的录取,更是因为这是我第一次和孩子进行头脑风暴的brainchild。

毋庸置疑,Angel是一个传统意义上的中国好学生,在学校里品学兼优,也不同程度的学习了英法西日韩五门外语。不过在八年前,直接申请美国本科的家庭几乎是凤毛麟角,课外活动的地位并没有得到充分重视。因此面对长长的素材搜集表,Angel一筹莫展。

于是当时负责申请的同事和我合计,向公司提议由我们和专程到北京来的孩子进行一次头脑风暴,尝试挖掘一下可能在主文和学校文书里展现的闪光点。

一开始面对不熟悉的老师,孩子略显拘谨。不过从她感兴趣的文学和动漫领域入手,我们的谈话渐入佳境。

“老师你知道么?别看我现在学这么多门外语,其实当年还是很吃力的。”

“哦?挺有意思,你是怎么做到的?”

顺藤摸瓜,我们很快确定了针对当时一道老Common题目Indicate a person who has had a significant influence on you, and describe that influence的主线。

当然在原始素材的基础上,我们之后还是有几番比较大的改动。对地域特色的提示是一。还有很核心的一点就是把后来学外语的经历给不落痕迹的嫁接了进来。因为毕竟Angel很快要一个人赴美留学,需要让美国大学了解到她已经青出于蓝而胜于蓝,能够在妈妈帮助养成的学习习惯基础上自己独立探索学术领域。另一方面,Angel其实有一些特殊的家庭背景,文书里面没有直接提及,但是最后一段有所暗示,也和申请的其他地方呼应了起来。从结果来看还是达到了我们所期望的效果的。

感觉像Angel的这种情况在今天应该不大可能再出现。不过如果你也缺乏活动,不妨想想自己有没有一些积极的、坚持不懈的个人故事可以讲讲。


Today I am full of confidence, applying for world-class colleges. But who could tell that years ago I was considered as a less-than-satisfactory student by people around me? It is one of the many positive changes that I have my mother to thank for.

When I was five, I was the youngest student in the class and did not stand out among peers at all. English was my weakest subject. Teachers and students often neglected my existence, or even judged me with prejudice. For this my confidence plummeted.

Mom never openly showed her worries, but she hired a native-speaker, an African American doctor, as my part-time tutor. With his lively instruction, each new word slipped into my mind vividly. In such friendly atmosphere, my language potential blossomed and my proficiency in oral English reached a new height. Furthermore, I even found a penchant for foreign languages, cultures, and life styles.

During a winter break, when my friends were cozily playing by the fireplace, mom took me to local university to attend public English lectures. At the very year, we experienced a heavy snowfall. Shivering and sighing, I grudgingly dragged my legs forward in the knee-deep snowfield. But it was mom's gentle words that built up my faith and empowered me to painstakingly take notes on fine grammar points in the nearly empty classroom. With a day's class finished, mom would check on my progress and help me review, though she only had limited understanding in English. Her enthusiasm supported me to read aloud after English tapes again and again. Not until I fully completed the workload would I go to bed. At the price of several broken tape recorders, I memorized all course materials by heart, establishing a perfectionist learning style.

At junior high school, the fruit of my efforts began to show. I eventually rose to the top of class from my original poor academic state. Mother encouraged me to preview before the classes and learn advanced content beyond the curriculum. In this way, my other subjects were also improved, which gave my teachers one pleasant surprise after another.

Five years ago, when others were learning sciences to the best of their ability, mother did not push me to follow the trend. Instead she fully supported my interests and encouraged me to attend numerous language schools. With my innate passion, I soon reached medium level in French and passed band 1 in Japanese. After that, I dabbled in Korean, and could freely converse in the language months later. I am currently teaching myself Spanish. Owing to its similarity with French, I feel a great intimacy and have just finished more than half of the introductory textbook this summer. As a language learner, I could say the expression vouloir, c'est pouvoir now sheds a new light on me.

Without mom's company, encouragement, and persistence, I could never attain all these achievements and excel as a senior in (删去学校名), a renowned high school in Northeastern China. Mom made me to understand that confidence makes me perfect and assiduity brings me far and wide. Who could claim that female is the lesser sex? I believe women certainly can carry the weight of the world on their shoulders.

重要通知

本文为AADPS原创,原始发布地址是https://aadps.net/2017/13753.html。如发现其他自媒体盗用文章,欢迎粉丝告知或协助我们举报。

发布者

陈 欣

陈 欣

AADPS创始人

发表评论