英文写作指南——材料组织篇

AADPS发现,广大中国学生在撰写留学文书的过程中,虽然有丰富的素材和极好的思路,却往往不知道如何下笔,也就是所谓的writer's block。即便勉强能最终把文章生拉硬扯的完成,也往往会出现各种问题。有的文书,通篇充满了呼号式的 "人生真谛",却在其中找不到一点作者自身的影子。另一些文书则成了材料的简单堆砌,似乎面面俱到,但却无法给读者留下深刻的印象。

事实上,在确定每一段落主题的前提下,前人早已归纳出五种标准的材料组织模式(writing pattern)。同学们可以灵活的应用并嵌套它们,使得能够合理用自身的素材将主题有血有肉的充分展开。下面就让我们来看一看每种模式分别是什么,可以适用于怎样的场景。

枚举式(List Pattern)

枚举式是最常见的组织模式,即是将一系列内容逐一列出。在这里,内容的顺序不是一个主要的因素。这种模式写成的段落中,即便将是最后的内容提到最前,也不应产生太大的影响。通常,我们用一些关键的连词如and,also,another,moreover,in addition或是序数词如first,second,third,last,finally来标记内容中的每一点。有时,还可以在开头就明确点出数目,比如two types,five ways,several kinds。这种做法能够有效保证读者不会遗漏了段落中的某一点。在下面这个例子中,作者从两个方面出发,写了他的教育目标。提示组织模式的词句已用斜体标出。

My educational goal comprises two aspects. From past experience, I see a necessity to increase my understanding toward economy and energy sectors through my education, so that one day I would be able to combine these two areas of knowledge and fulfill social responsibilities in my unique way. Through economy I would be able to effectively exploit the advantage of the environment to achieve maximized profit. On the other hand, energy issues have been receiving more attention in modern globalized business world. After the diminishing of my home country's population bonus, Chinese foreign trade will no longer be as much competitive as it does in these days. At the time investors will surely shift their focuses to high-tech and energy areas and I want to play an important part in this new trend of national development.

顺序式(Sequence Pattern)

顺序式与枚举式很类似,但顾名思义,各个元素的先后顺序在这里是不可或缺的。在留学文书中,最常见的会是时间顺序(chronological order)。对此,我们同样可以用序数词如first,second,third,last,finally等,或者可以直接写出具体的时间,比如in the first three months,two weeks later。为了使得文章显得更生动多样,同学们应该灵活的运用诸如after,before,when,until之类的介词/连词。熟练的使用顺序式,能使得对某个复杂过程的描绘更加清晰准确,也可以用来体现申请者自身进步成长的过程。在下面这个例子中,作者描绘了他参加机器人大赛的经历,以及与队友情谊的延伸。提示组织模式的词句已用斜体标出。

In my sophomore year as a student of Information Engineering, two other classmates and I ventured forth to attend the Robocup competition. At the time, instructors and judges really had their share of doubts, for we were among the youngest contenders in the contest's history. However, inexperienced as we were, we determined to prove our values to the world. With limited preparation time, we hastily taught ourselves about the SUSE Linux distribution used as the emulation platform. Then, line by line we examined the bottom level API codes provided to us, so that we could take full advantage of them. After countless mock trials and tactics assessments, we were able to select the best strategy for our virtual robotic team. To everyone's surprise, we ended up beating all other opponents and won the championship! When we walked out of the venue and saw the sunshine pouring down, our eyes instantly filled up with tears for all the hardship and joy in the duration. Currently one of my teammate is pursuing his PhD at Washington University, the other stays at Southeastern University to continue his study as a graduate student. We still maintain a close bond and I believe this mutual feeling will last for a long time. Thus I have acknowledged the second power that supports a researcher – fellowship.

定义式(Definition Pattern)

定义式在留学文书中稍微罕见一些,但在恰当的地方,仍不失为一种极为有效的策略。通常,我们采用is,is defined as,means,is known as,refers to,the term,is called来定义一个关键语汇,并在随后用其他的四种模式来展开说明。于此同时,我们有时采用同位语(appositive)来做出定义,并可使用如or,in other words,that is来强调。有一些标点符号,包括逗号(,),括号(()),破折号(–) 和冒号(:)可以将关键语汇和它们的定义连接起来。在下面这个例子中,作者体现了她对物理这门学科的一种逐渐深入的认识。提示组织模式的词句已用斜体标出。

In the beginning, I perceived physics as a kind of pastime
Later, I discovered that physics actually permits me to think in entirely different fashion
In lab sessions, I understood that physics is the power that drives numerous real-world applications
Interest being piqued, I went on to recognize physics as the means to explore new frontier during a recent study on thin film…

比较对比式(Comparison-Contrast Pattern)

很多情况下,在留学文书的写作中有必要强调比较和对比。这种组织模式有助于给读者一个参照系,使得他们在缺乏对中国学生独有背景的认识时能够更好的理解段落主旨。具体来说,比较强调的是不同事物的相似性,而对比则强调有联系事物的不同之处。对于前者,我们一般使用similarly,likewise,both,same,also。对于后者,我们一般使用on the other hand,in contrast,however,while,whereas,although,nevertheless,different,unlike,some…others。此外,对比还体现在段落中同时出现的一对反义词,譬如advantages与disadvantages,assets与liabilities等等。 在下面,作者通过比较登山和学习,体现了他对知识的热爱和一种坚韧的品格。提示组织模式的词句已用斜体标出。

Mountaineers know well that the best views are unreachable without each step from downhill. Likewise, only from the every bit of accumulation can we enjoy the fun of learning. Knowing this by heart, I always hold a positive attitude towards learning and attain considerable joy in the process. Happy recollections of school days has taught me a lot. In particular, the knowledge I have mastered and applied solidifies my determination to pursue a study in Communication Engineering in the future.

在这封推荐信中,老师将Lisa与其他同学对假期实践课的不同态度做出了对比。提示组织模式的词句已用斜体标出。

As I recall, Lisa stood out in practicums of the program. These opportunities are often in summer and winter vacations, so many students do not pay sufficient attentions since they are more eager to return home. On the contrary, she always valued these hands-on experiences, and kept a detailed note when lectured by the staff.

因果关系式(Cause-Effect Pattern)

因果关系是留学文书写作中重要的方法之一,毕竟所有的留学文书都是以回答 "我为什么要申请此项目?"和 "此项目为什么要录取我?"这两个问题为终极目标的。我们可以使用because,the reasons,causes,reasons why,is due to,is caused by来表明原因,可以用therefore,consequently,thus,as a consequence,led to,the results,as a result,the effect was,result in来表明结果。下面,一位同学回答了她为何要申请金融硕士项目。提示组织模式的词句已用斜体标出。

Why do I wish to enter the M.Fin. Program? We all know that a bright future of the market does not guarantee a bright future of its every member owing to the intricate risks involved. Thus I believe rigorous training on financial economics, math, and programming are crucial to shape me into a successful financial analyst. My final conclusion, therefore, is to take this graduate level program. I wish to acquire skills for analyzing economic data and financial investment portfolio from a fundamental perspective.

 

最后,AADPS要再一次提醒大家,上述五种材料组织模式并非孤立的存在,而是互相依存包含的。例如,枚举式中的一点可以写成一个小的因果关系,顺序式中的一个环节可以补上一个对比。从大的方面来说,文章整体也可采取五种之一来规划,然后每一段再使用其他的组织模式细化。同学们不应在文章中生硬使用单一的模式,而应该根据特定状况选择最有效的并与其他模式搭配使用。

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发布者

陈 欣

陈 欣

AADPS创始人

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